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I am often asked to help people with their papers, talks or interviews about Gothic.
I am very pleased that they visit Gothic-Nederland for that purpose.
For future inquirers I have answered the most frequently asked questions.

Want to know more? Just send me an email.

General questions

What is Gothic?

That is not an easy question to answer because its meaning is different from person to person.
For me it is mainly a lifestyle which means that I a have a somewhat different outlook on society than the average man in the street.
I really hate hypocrisy and prejudice.
In my opinion you should accept someone as he or she is but at the same time you should give your opinion even when this means that you have to step on someone’s toes.
This is not the same as insulting someone, of course.
You should respect everyone and everything including animals and plants.
I have been a vegetarian for more than 25 years now, for example.
How I look is my decision, even if people have problems with this that is their problem, not mine.
Gothic goes “together with" a certain style of dressing, make-up, etc., but this does not mean that this is obligatory.
There are plenty of Goths who look ordinary, being Goth comes from your soul, looking like a Goth does not make you one.

How do you become a Gothic?

I get this question a lot.
Ok, you cannot become a Goth. Either you are a Goth or you are not.
A better question would be: how do I express myself as a Goth?
The answer to this question is easy: the way you want to.

What is Gothic music?

Actually, there is not such a thing as real Gothic music, like you have with for instance metal or blues. However, there is a certain type of music (in my opinion) that cannot be classified under any other style and you could call this Gothic music, such as the band Malochia.
Furthermore, you could say that there are different styles within Gothic music like industrial, dark wave, Gothic rock and metal.
Gothic music is music many Goths listen to and that is all there is to it.

Where do Goths meet?

Most of the time they meet at festivals or gigs of bands Goths love.

What do Goths do in their spare time?

Goths do about the same things other people do.
However, many Goths are creative people and many of them paint or write poetry.

Is friendship important to you?

Yes and no.
Goths like to be on their own but they also have friends.
I think that Goth friendships are very close because we do not want to be friends with all and sundry, moreover we do not trust people very quickly.
This does not mean of course that Goths are just friends with other Goths.
We also have friends who are not Goths.

Do most Goths work or do they go to school?

Yes, of course they do.

Do you have certain standards and values that may differ from other cultures?

Generally speaking, you could say that Goths find the quality of life very important.
They live a life of awareness and they think about its meaning.
They respect other people for what they are and they do not judge other people very quickly. They accept someone for who he or she is.

Do you look at life in a certain way?

This differs from person to person.
I just think that you must make something of it.
Setbacks are educational.

What do you find important in life?

In general we find the same things important as everyone else.
What we do not find important is for example: “What will the neighbours think?”
It is very important to Goths to have the guts to be yourself in other words: just be yourself.
Many Goths also think and talk a lot about the meaning of life.

How do you feel about people and society in general?

I think that most Goths feel that the man in the street is very selfish and narrow-minded. In general people try not to attract attention to themselves and you could say that they follow the crowd.
For Goths it is very important to be themselves and to be original.

Are there certain things you are really opposed to?

Not really, but many Goths busy themselves with the environment and animal rights and related things.
I am a vegetarian and I am strongly opposed to the use of fur.

Are there any rules you have to comply with?

No, you just live life the way it suits you.

Do Goths have a special jargon?

Do Goths have a certain kind of behaviour?

No, except, as indicated before, that they are (have the guts to be) themselves and may be different from the average man in the street.

Are there certain rules you have to comply with?

No, the only rule is that you have to live your life the way you want to live it.

Do you have certain rituals when you greet each other or are there other rituals that are characteristic of Goths?

I read that you think a lot about life and death. Well,how do you think about this or does that differ from person to person?

Death is a part of life.
Death is a taboo to many people, but not to Goths.
We do not only think about life, we think about death too.

What does Gothic have to do with Satanism and/or the Devil?

Nothing at all.
They are often bracketed together but they have nothing to do with one another.
Many Goths are devoted to natural religions such as Wicca, and this has nothing at all to do with the Devil or Satanism.

Do you have a certain religion, do you go to church?

This also differs from person to person.
Most Goths are not religious, but there are certainly Goths who believe and go to church. In this you can think of many different religions.

Personal questions:

When and why did you become a Goth?

I think I became aware of the fact that I was a Goth when I was about 16 years old.
So the question should not be “when did you become a Goth” but “when did you become aware that you are a Goth”. I should add that Goths do not like “pigeon-holing” but if I have to give a name to what of who you are I just call it Gothic.
The question "why" is therefore superfluous, because you are who you are, it is merely a question of having the guts to be yourself.

Do people stare at you a lot and do you find that annoying?

Yes, people often look at me and not only when I am wearing typical Gothic clothing.
People seem to sense that I am “different”.
It does not bother me, I am used to it.

Does your home look different from other people’s homes?

Um, actually, yes, it does.
We have a sofa and everything, but I think our place is different from most other people’s homes.
We have a lot of burgundy, purple and black colours in the living room and I collect witches, I have about 200 of them spread out throughout the living room.
We also love candles, plants, music and books.

Do you have children and if so, what do they think about the fact that you are Goths?

I have two sons, they were born in 1984 and 1986 and they do not have problems with our being Goths whatsoever.
Friends and girlfriends of our kids love coming over to us, we always have an open house.
They were raised very consciously and we taught them: just have the guts to be yourself and that is what they are: themselves.

Do you believe in God?

No, I don’t.
There are Goths who believe, however Gothic is not a religion but a lifestyle, so these two concepts are not really connected.